i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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