Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
