time to smoke my breakfast
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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