i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
