Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
false alarm, still single
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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