That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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