is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
try to milk me bitch
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
