I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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