Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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