Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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