New low: just hacked my moms facebook
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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