I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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