You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
