thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
