Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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