The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
