I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
did i walk over a car last night?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
You've changed since you got that strap on
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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