There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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