I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize