I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Randomize
