Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
