she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
birth control should be required to get into college
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
i out mim tonsoeep
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
