I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
