I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize
