Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
