Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
