she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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