i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
