All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
