i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
