apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I look better un-naked...
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
