i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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