should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
