Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I did not marry a roomba.
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