I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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