capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
