I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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