Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
