I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
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