i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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