New invention idea: vibrating tampons
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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