I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
