We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
