pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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