i just made my gag reflex go away.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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