I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I'm gonna have a badass scar
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Why can't burritos get me drunk
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
