Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
