remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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