I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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