No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I just want to make out with him forever
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
