I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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