At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
do herpes really smell.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
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