i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
