i don't like sucking hair
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Randomize
