so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
