i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
