It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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