very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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