Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
