woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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