I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
